2011-08-22
Future Perfect
It was reported that Saddam Hussein, though pronounced guilty and hung 25 years ago, was restored to life by some recent advances in medicines pioneered by one of Osama’s sons who was unaccounted for by the Americans. This lapse was due to a severe dust storm that engulfed the village where he was sheltered by kindly villagers when a census was being conducted. The ensuing dust jammed the advanced equipment that the Americans were carrying while the son just hopped on a camel and crossed over to Afghanistan.
In his reawakening, Saddam lords it over America with threats to unleash weapons of mass destruction which a dedicated team of Libyan army deserters developed for him in, as they say, a desire to see the descendants of their nemesis George Bush quiver in terror. And quiver the western world does as electric power to the region has been cut and diverted to Uganda for Idi Amin, who has worked up a sweat to pay off his business loans. Most of the world leaders are now aligned to the mafia, whose leading members are now management luminaries. Their favourite pastime is attending conferences for the restoration of oil to its rightful owners. This matter has been under litigation for quite some time, as the Saudis claim that what they received under this new agreement was diluted with inferior oil from Argentina.
Gaddafi, the Libyan leader who could never do without his Amazonian bodyguards, now runs a finishing school for women. The country’s oil deposits have all been piped to Russia. The only condition being that Assad, the Syrian dictator, has to learn the Salsa and perform at every event that celebrates the uprising in his country.
Britain and the US continue to be at loggerheads over a slight which no one seems to remember. The matter has been taken to the UN which is being run by the drug mafia, the current world leader.
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